Archive | April 2012

Prison of pain

The bars from that prison of pain no longer hold me. They no longer dictate what each day will be like. No longer do I have to stay in that cell and pray till I’m begging that I can make it through the day. No longer am I held in the all consuming darkness of never getting out into the sunlight. I am a free woman. There was a scare a year and a half ago when I was in a rollover car accident, missing the telephone pole by 3 inches. My angels worked overtime that day. Actually, I think they work overtime every day on my behalf. The fear that began to envelop me after that accident was such a strong force. It tried to tell me that the injuries from the accident would be forever. It tried to tell me that I was going back to that hopeless jail of pain. But that was not to be my path again. I had already been on that path and survived, barely. On 4/2/12, I attempted to forever be rid of all the pain. That was not to be my end though. There seemed to be a greater plan for me. 43 yrs was not enough for me to live evidently.
I am filled with such gratitude of where my life has taken me to this point. While strolling through my garden yesterday, I had to fight back tears of gratitude. I began to reflect on what it’s taken to get here. To be able to start my own business is truly a dream coming true. In the last 2 years I have lived a lifetime, fighting to live again. Thankfully, I have been surrounded my incredible family and friends who love me and who have supported me in every way I can think of. Therein lies the richness, the beauty. I am wealthy. I see it. I know it. I embrace it.
If you saw me, you wouldn’t see the physical pain I am in daily. But I can assure you, it’s there. The difference now is I have the skills and tools needed to manage it. I am no longer held in an opioide induced stupor prescribed by ignorant doctors. I no longer need a wheelchair or a walker. I can walk on my own again. I can think again and I can choose again. I choose each day to live fully. Some days that means resting and not fighting it, but fully embracing it. Other days, I can be in my garden fully enjoying its beauty while I make my mark on it. Whatever the days bring now, I get to choose because, you see, I am a free woman.


Happy Gardener

I am so incredibly happy this morning. Yesterday was planting day on a yard I designed for a friend. She was extremely happy with the end product. So I did my job well. I did the design, she did the manual labor. Well, I couldn’t help but get my hands dirty a little bit. Then I was off to the annual Washington County Master Gardeners’ Plant Sale. The perennials are always $3 at this sale. I only spent $63. That’s what I call self control. Now, where do I put them all?


Gonna get down and dirty today!

Happy Friday! How can it be that I don’t have anything on my schedule today? No meetings, no appointments. Breathe… WAIT! How could I possibly forget? I need to get to the nursery, always. I’ve got to get those dandelion seed heads gone before the wind blows. Well, too late for that, but I must try to get rid of the rest of them. Then there’s the grass that’s growing everywhere it shouldn’t be. Then there’s the plants I bought that are still in their pots waiting patiently for me to find them their new home. Now where will that be? Then there’s the perennials that need dividing before they get too big. What am I doing writing this blog? I have no time for this. I’ve got too much on my schedule today.

Nerve pain!

Not sure I’ll be doing much gardening today. The nerve pain is really flaring up. It’s difficult because the garden is calling me. No, really. I can hear it. Can you?


Gardening in the dark?

Do you ever garden in the dark because you just can’t make yourself come in? There’s just one more weed to grab, one more plant to get in the ground, one more slug to-well, you know. Tonight I got caught up in dividing perennials. It’s just too much fun and it feels so good to be alive and to have the energy to be gardening after dinner. I’m going to bed tonight extremely grateful!


I have muscles!

Yep, it’s true. I have muscles. I know this only because I gardened so long yesterday, that I’m feeling it today. I’m off to the hot tub this morning. Then I’ll get my hands dirty.

5am Symphony of bird song

Good morning! Yesterday was such an incredibly wonderful day. It makes me smile just thinking about it. It wasn’t just about getting a lot done in the garden, but about enjoying each moment in an unhurried fashion. That’s exactly what happened. Don’t get me wrong. I did get a lot done in the garden, so much so I went to bed about 8:30. I guess that’s why I woke up at 5am. No worries. This is the time of day when the symphony of bird song is at its height. The song continues throughout the day carrying me through with an abundance of joy. Blessings of peace in your garden today.